This week, “The Smoldering Ruin” looks back at the Clemson football game against Miami. More specifically the awkward encounter with a woman who was definitely not drunk (wink) that was looking for love in a hopeless place.
We had the perfect Saturday evening.
North stands, the upper section of the lower deck- I’ll leave out the section on the row for anonymity, but you get it. The weather, although very chilly, was what November football should be all about. It was perfect. Well, almost.
I’ll get back to what happened in the stands shortly after, but first, let’s touch on the game.
At times, Clemson looked dominant but there were also times when they took their foot off the gas. The 1st half was about as good as you could ask for. Clemson took control, seized pretty much every opportunity, and had a 24-point lead at the half. The defense completely dominated a decimated Canes offense, and the Clemson offense had some creative looks that led to big plays and points.
For the 3rd quarter and most of the 4th, Clemson just was present. Twice they got into plus territory, and both times they had inexplicable turnovers (again). Though one of those turnovers turned into a safety, that score was mitigated by another turnover that led to a Miami touchdown.
Still, Clemson was able to get settled in, get some more stops, and score 2 more touchdowns before the clock hit zero. If I have said it once, I have said it in all 10 wins this year: it wasn’t perfect, but it got the job done comfortably.
Hats off to the defense. Flip-flopping Barrett Carter and Trenton Simpson has created a lot more havoc than more people thought. The Tigers held the Canes to 98 yards….total. That’s a pretty good day at the ballpark.
If the Clemson offense can cut down on turnovers, this team could fully round into form. That would be a welcomed sight with the team from Richland County sanitation coming to town this week.
Anyway, I promised a story.
Sitting next to stone hammer drunk people at sporting events is nothing new to me. As long as you aren’t doing anything harmful, I generally snicker and move on. The group sitting next to my dad and I on Saturday must have thought the supply of Fireball was about to run out because they fully invested their Saturday afternoon in making sure its legacy lived on.
The man sitting next to me talked to me as if we knew each other for 20 years, shaking hands asking how the family was doing. Real nice guy, never met him in my life.
The other issue, as much as I hate to admit it, is the seating situation. I am abroad shouldered guy. So naturally, when you have 7 “bear shaped” humans on the same row, things get tight. A seat opened up on the row behind us, and dad popped up there to sit.
Another man seated next to my dad, looked at the woman beside him, and back at my dad before exclaiming to him and anyone who could hear “She’s drunk as (expletive, it’s the poop word), heck I think we all are”
This is where the story picks up. The same man who let my dad know about everyone’s inebriation status got up and left in the middle of the 2nd. There was more space on the row above me, and as much as I loved meeting my newfound long-lost neighbor, I wanted to sit next to my dad.
Clemson punched it in to make it 21-0. The aforementioned woman leaned down and laid a rather large kiss on the man I had just moved away from. I have no idea what their status was, or their history, and I do not care.
Miami took an awkwardly long time to take a knee. I made a joke, people laughed, and then the mystery woman got a little handsy with my shoulder when laughing. A couple things I need to make you aware of when this happened: First, I am married, happily. Second, this mystery woman is probably around my mother in laws age. So, I took notice pretty quick.
For Clemson football the Miami game was over at the half, but Houston Burnett was only half way done
As the clock hit zero at half, my newfound neighbor from my original row turned to my dad and I said “Fellas, I’m headed out to drink some liquor.”
“Take care” I said.
“As if he needed more” retorted a woman on the other side of us witnessing this calamity.
We all started chuckling. That was until the mystery woman slid next to me, wrapped her arms around my head and said……well….I dunno she was really drunk, and I was sort of in shock of what was happening.
After she retreated her advances, I leaned over and told my dad I needed to go to the bathroom. You know it’s been crazy when a bathroom at Death Valley seems like a place of solace.
“Hurry back” my dad said, “you’re my line of defense”.
Of course, I am.
Anyway, Go Tigers.